So, yesterday was an awesome day in every way. I felt good. I worked, felt healthy, strong, and “with it.” I left work, subbed a yoga class, got super nurtured through my own teaching experience, went back to work full of love and light and spent two more hours serving others in a place of pure peace, joy, and love. That’s love story #1. I’m hitting new highs from teaching. My love for yoga expands into love for others and nurtures my own being. Amazing. I felt myself radiating last night – in love and beauty.
- When concentration and awareness are working together, we may have a taste of what enlightenment might be.
I got home last night – late – and the roommate was in a fairly great mood, too. He told me his love story and it is, not kidding here, amazing. His journey is spurred by pure love inspiration. His pursuit is of a younger woman who is living with another man in another country. He’s going to get her. She’s 18 years my junior; 22 years his junior. It explains the wonderful lack of sexual tension we’re experiencing living together. It explains why we feel like brother / sister relations rather than that of potential lovers. I’m extremely grateful to see the fuller picture of what is driving this man. I’m now in full support of his endeavors with greater understanding. Love story #2.
I felt sorrow last night because I’d not gotten a text from Bryan since early morning; and I was really happy about our re-connection but not about to overload him with a bunch of over-chatty texts so I gave it space and after my last text to him, I waited for his response. I let him lead with his desire to communicate. By midnight, I was concerned that I hadn’t heard from him since early morning and realized I was already feeling like the little inflated dream of seeing him again was getting choked out. I held that space of potentiality and realized how wide open things are if he’s not in the picture. I like wide open. But, I also really like Bryan and his sweetness. Then, I heard from him just past midnight. He said he missed me intensely. I poured out a number of texts expressing my mixed relief and fear. He told me his entire dream has been shattered again. He’d spent months putting together a new plan – getting it in action. Yesterday he had his heart broken when the whole deal came smashing down on him. I felt both devastated for him, and sorry for myself but he said… (this is great), “Me too. But whatever. When one door closes another one opens.” I get it. I’ve walked through a lot of open doors after bashing myself into firmly closed ones. I’ll just continue to apply lots of space and patience here and see what happens. Love story #3
My momma called me last night. I missed the call. But wow, I was happy she tried to call me. My relationship with my mom isn’t what I’ve wanted it to be these last 48 years. Expectations tied to relationship lead to sour disappointment, a lot, but last night I was so happy my mom called me, even though I missed the call. I called her back and she answered! I told her how wonderful my day was, working and teaching yoga. I don’t reach out to my mom because when she ignores my calls and doesn’t call me back, I get hurt. When I feel hurt by her, I say hurtful things and create negative karma between us. So, instead, I leave her alone 99.9% of the time and let her reach out to me when she’s inspired to. The conversation was lovely. I was delighted to communicate with her, and she hung up feeling blessed. Love story #4
It’s Monday morning. There’s going to be bocce ball. Bingo. Popcorn. Drama with the residents that I can’t control. There’s going to be blessings and mishaps, confusion, and frustration. I’m okay with all of it. I’m going to try to just roll along in love and take this day like a gift box full of un-bitten chocolates. Doesn’t matter what the box looks like, what the flavors of the chocolates are, or who the maker is. I’m damn lucky to have another box of chocolates to work with, and I’m going to appreciate all the nuances of existence: good and bad, in gratitude. Love stories are infinite.
IMAGE EXPLANATION: When I led yesterday’s ice cream social at 3pm, I asked people to tell me their favorite flowers before handing them their ice cream. Overwhelming love of roses. Then, as we ate, we discussed favorite movies. I’ll add a lot of these to our Netflix que for our Saturday activity of “Movies & Popcorn.”