I woke up this morning to see that I missed a call from my mom at 10:20 the night before. There was a three minute voice mail that was totally blank. It made me feel uneasy. I texted her. And I laid in bed. I could tell the air around me was cold but the temperature under my blankets was too warm so I did that half-in, half-out thing. And I felt the solidity and softness of my mattress below me, luxuriated in the pleasure of having a nice quality mattress. I thought about how I can’t take the bus today even if my life depends on it because the 65 doesn’t run on Sunday mornings. That’s ok. The temperature outside is now 28. As long as it didn’t snow, the bike ride should be easy.
I thought about my date yesterday. Clark was married to a female narcissist for 22 years. I found myself wondering in his company yesterday if he may have turned her into a narcissist. In fact, I found myself questioning whether or not I AM one. He rubbed me the wrong way a couple different times and I didn’t want to be in his presence, though I was thankful to have learned how to take the train down town. I was also thankful I got to see a really cool art gallery and some awesome paintings. I also got to eat a sushi burrito stuffed with fried tofu and seaweed salad. And I ordered some mushroom fries. Clark thought they looked naughty. I pretended I didn’t hear him say so. Weird and messy but interesting. Clark essentially made me feel like running all the way back to Arizona. If this is what dating in my future looks like, I’m so done. Celibacy and solitude are sweet.
But I missed my musician as I laid in bed, this morning, too. I might say that my heart longs for him, but I thought about how he likes me to rub his back and his head and how it exhausts me but at the same time fulfills me. I often think about the tattoo on his back – a symbol for balance. How every time I look at his back, I am reminded of what I need most (balance in caring for self and others). And I miss him. And I’m ok being alone. But if I’m not able to stay alone for my lifetime (and i see so many elderly really are NOT able to) then I really want it to be with someone who doesn’t move too fast (mentally and physically well paced), jump to too many conclusions, is patient and humble, and is capable of understanding me – just like the musician who is not mine but who I wish was mine. From now on I’ll reference him with the name Hans to protect his privacy. Or maybe I’ll try not to reference him at all. I’m grateful for the memories I have with Hans, and with all the others; and when I’m not feasting on those memories, I’m just totally chill being in the present moment. I tried rubbing my own head. Not the same.
As I moved into my kitchen to make coffee and breakfast, that inner voice spoke, “Wahe Guru” and I was prompted to play Shantala’s version of the chant on iTunes. I love the song. And so, I’ve looked up the lyrics and meaning to absorb its goodness better, and to share with you. Found the info on 3HO’s website (Thanks, Yogi Bhajan).
Wahe Guru is also known as the Gurmantra. It triggers the destiny.
Translation: I am in ecstasy when I experience the Indescribable Wisdom.
This mantra expresses the indescribable experience of going from darkness to light—from ignorance to true understanding. It is the Infinite teacher of the soul.
What is Wahe Guru?
Knowledge, talent and the secrets of success are in consistent pursuit.
Satisfaction, friendship and prosperity are in instant communication. c
Every client is a super friend.
Every trade is a super opportunity.
Every smile is a direct achievement.
Every frown is a new loss.
Every hanky-panky is a loss of trust.
Every lie is a loss of face.
Every moment without understanding is a misunderstanding.
The power of victory is in strategy and action with a complete brief; result with complete assessment; recharge and attack again.
Every action must have cover and reinforcement.
Understand, then stand under.
If you want to get together, gather yourself first and then get together.
What we are is what we do to others.
If we do not inspire others, we are depressed always.
If we do not love others, we practice self-hatred.
Any mistake takes away our prosperity.
Any loss is a challenge to prepare better.
Any tragedy is a challenge to wisdom.
Any treachery is a challenge to intelligence.
Any grief is to conquer the self.
This is all Wahe Guru.
-Yogi Bhajan 9/11/96
Kriyas that Use this Mantra:
Guru Gobind Singh Shakti Mantra Meditation
This meditation can calm the nerves, help to reduce fevers. This is a Laya Yoga version of the mantra. It creates the heat that burns off karma. There is a state of ecstasy which exists within us all the time. It is an infinite pool that refreshes the heart and gives us strength to create a better self and a better world. This meditation is the key that opens the door to that experience of ecstasy.
Wahe Guru Kriya for Nervous Balance
This meditation strengthens your nervous system so that nothing bothers you. It expands your intuitive sense and makes the mind clear and decisive. It helps you have the strength to act on your ideals and consciously direct yourself.
Sodarshan Chakra Kriya
The personal identity is rebuilt, giving the individual a new perspective on the Self. It retrains the mind. It can purify your past karma and the subconscious impulses that may block you from fulfilling you. It gives you the pranic power of health and healing. It establishes inner happiness and a state of flow and ecstasy in life.
For a guide for the rhythm of this mantra click here.